I recommend that couples write their own vows... by using the guidelines provided you can make your ceremony special and unforgettable. For those of you who would rather not... I can customize your vows with passages and readings from:
"With these words I thee wed contemporary wedding vows for today's couple:
"For as long as we both shall live"
Wedding Vows finding the perfect words"
"Complete book of wedding vows 100's of ways to say "I do"
"Handfasted and Heartjoined Rituals for Uniting a couple's hearts and lives".
Choose additions to the vows to include your parents and your children.
Rose Ceremony
Readings for the wine toast and for the unity candle.
Vows that reflect the beauty of the wedding setting, mountains, beaches, forests, roof tops, etc.
The cord ceremony comes from some practices that were prevalent in Scotland and Ireland centuries ago. In olden times rings were not always exchanged during a marriage ceremony.
A rope was used to bind the couple together into the bonds of marriage. The rope is then formed into a knot. It is to remain tied and be kept in the home to remind the couple of their vows to each other.
(This is also where the saying tying the knot comes from).
Jumping the Broom
The practice of having couples "jump the broom" during wedding ceremonies are both an African American as well as a neo-pagan custom. The couple jumps over a broom while holding hands. The broom represents the old remnants being swept away. The leap that the couple takes over the broom is also symbolic. Starting a new life with another person does require a "leap of faith". But by taking the leap, the individuals make a gesture of dedication to working together through the tough times ahead and the willingness to care for and defend one another,
The Rose Ceremony
is placed at the end of the wedding ceremony just after the pronouncing as a couple. In the past, the rose was considered a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you." So it is appropriate that the first gift - as a couple to each other - would be a single rose.
Sand Ceremony
Like the unity candle, the sand is used in uniting of the couple. As the two vials of sand are poured into one, they flow together symbolizing the joining of the couple as they share their first experience of unity together. The newly formed union is represented by the intertwined pattern of sand created by the couple.
The Unity Candle
symbolizes the very essence of the wedding ceremony. The single candles represent the two families alone, one from each side of the family. The taper candles are ignited and then together, the two single candles light the center candle, representing the coming together of the two families and their visible commitment to each other.
Wreath
is a traditional symbol of matrimony and friendship and also represents the Circle of Life. Wreaths given as gifts represent love, happiness, friendship and gratitude. The wreath is made by members of the community, as a gift and a blessing. Friends and family members have the opportunity to add sprigs of chosen plants, flowers, & tokens with traditional meanings related to marriage. The wreath decorates the couples home, as love decorates their lives. The wreath will let them remember the love shared by all of us there on that day.
Okay, take a deep breath and lets get started. This is supposed to be one of the biggest days of your lives.
Formal or informal, traditional or non-traditional, big or small, any wedding is a cause for celebration and a grand production. Keep an open mind & learn to relax. As you enjoy the process of conducting your own wedding.
Here are some questions to get you started.
1. When and Where did you first meet?
2. At what point did you realize you were in love
and what were you feeling?
3. Why do I want the commitment of a marriage?
4. What have you learned from each other?
5. Is my partner's happiness as important as my
own?
6. Do I understand the commitment I am about to
make?
7. What can I do to be sure that this marriage will
work and that I be able to keep my vows?
8. What life goals and dreams do you share?
9. Have we discussed all the important issues
10. What does marriage mean to both of you?
Take a look at tradition. Are you non-traditional, traditional, comedians, pranksters, fun loving people?
Take a trip down memory lane
Pour your hearts out and write down all the mushy stuff. Decide if you want to write your own vows. Most couples rehearse their vows before there big day. But you can if you wish keep them a surprise, or you can even share a vow to read to each other. Share it with others to get feedback.
Keep them short and sweet.
Once you've written down your vows, discuss them with your officiant. (some officiants may have faith based objections) or may suggest interesting quotes or thoughts that you might consider adding.
Speak them out loud to make sure they sound okay.
Important Tips:
The vows themselves should only take two to three minutes to say to one another. This is a public declaration of your commitment, not a private conversation between the two of you.
Sincerity is the key; the words should come from your heart and decide whether or not the two of you will recite the same vows or different ones.
Consider whether or not you want to include responses from your guests after your vows. Asking them to give their blessing to your marriage and to support your relationship in the future.
Make a copy of your vows to have with you during the ceremony or give a copy to your officiant and have s/he make a copy to bring to the service incase you think you might forget them.
Sample Ceremony
Officiant:
We are gathered here today to witness the coming together of two people. __________ and _________, whose hearts and spirits are entwined as one.
Love is one of the greatest experiences that we as humans can have, but it is when love is combined with real friendship that both are infinetly enhanced.
If the solemn vows which you are about to take are kept, your life will be full of peace and joy and the home which you are establishing, will abide through every turmoil as you know you are about to enter a union which is most serious.
This union will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and so intimate that it will influence your whole future. That future with all of its hopes and disappointments, pleasures and pains, joys and sorrows, is hidden from your eyes.
Marriage is a beautiful tribute of your faith in each other. Henceforth you belong to entirely each other. You will be one in Mind, one in Heart, and one in Affection. Whatever sacrifices you may have to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously.
May then, this love in which you have joined your hands and hearts today, never fail but grow deeper and stronger as the years go on.
And so I now ask of you ________ are the vows in which you are about to take of your own free will and consent?
___________ yes
And so I now ask you __________, are the vows in which you are about to take of your own free will and consent?
____________ yes
Officiant;
___________ and _________ would you now state your vows to each other.
Officiant;
A ring is an unbroken circle, a symbol of unity and love, representative of the greater circle of life of which we all spiritually are a part of.
Having neither beginning nor end, but a continuous cycle which you are an element. For you, it now begins with the gift of life, and will continue through the end of time.
Officiant:
Will you __________, accept this ring as a living symbol of __________ vows this day?
______________ I will
Officiant:
Will you ______________, accept this ring as a loving symbol of _____________vows this day?
Officiant:
Here life is touched by love and love by life. radiating joy like the warmth from fire. Here now, between _________ and ___________. lies hidden all the future of their lives together. May that future be blessed with deepening love. May they trust each other wholly, as they trust themselves, so that together they are equal to the needs of their tomorrows, May they be at home wherever they dwell. and gather wisdom from all the seasons of their lives.
As you have consented together to be bound to one another in marriage. You have made special promises to each other which have been symbolized by the joining of hands, taking of vows, and by giving and receiving rings.
By the authority vested in me, according to the laws of The Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
